Forbidden Feelings
by limited sanity
Summary: Remus is back at Hogwarts, but strange things are happening to Severus Snape. Will Remus be able to save him? I really suck at summary, but PLEASE! Give it a chance!
1. Upside Down

Forbidden Feelings Chapter one: Upside Down.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Severus, Remus or any other of the great and wonderful characters that JK. Rowling has come up with. They all belong to her; I'm just borrowing them for my own sick pleasure. I'm not making any money on this, so please! Don't sue! I have no money, so you really wouldn't get anything out of it, anyway. Please read the story and review so know what you all think. Plus, I'm open to suggestion as of what should happen in the next chapter! Okay, enough of my ramblings! On with the story:-)  
  
He couldn't breathe. The water had filled his lounges, and air was impossible to reach, at the bottom of the lake. He was going to die, and he new it! Panic was starting to take control of him, and even though he knew, that it would just make matters worse, he damned it all to Hell, and struggled to reach the surface. It got nearer and nearer, but all of a sudden, something grabbed his ankles. He was only a couple of inches away from life, but he couldn't get there.  
  
Remus Lupin woke up with a start. The nightmare had been so real!  
  
He noticed that he had completely destroyed his sheets by trying to claw his way through them, and his body was covered in sweat. He needed a shower, and he needed it now! He looked at the clock, and saw, that he only had fifteen minutes before breakfast was served in the Great Hall.  
  
He had come back to be the DADA teacher at Hogwarts this year, since the battle against Voldemort had grown more intense over the last couple of years. The Ministry had complained at first, but after Albus had had a 'nice and quiet talk' with Fudge, everything seemed to be in order.  
  
Harry was now in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts, and he needed all the support he could get, so since Sirius' name had been cleared last year, he had now moved to the school to be there for his godson. (The Aurors had caught Wormtail in a Death Eater raid, and it had been pretty futile for him to try and convince them, that 'he really was an innocent')  
  
Remus took a quick bath, put on his robes and hurried down towards the Great Hall, where breakfast would be served.  
  
He sat down silently and started to grab some food. He was bloody hungry! Must have something to do with the moon, he thought to himself.  
  
It was the Christmas holidays, so there was only four students left, five teachers and two other people who didn't fit into either category; Sirius and Filch.  
  
The four students were Harry, Hermione, Ron and Neville. The teachers: Albus, Minerva, Severus, Sinistra and himself, of course.  
  
He noted that he was the first one in the hall, save Minerva. He nodded 'good morning' to her and started to eat.  
  
Ten minutes later Remus was finished, and leaned back into the chair. 'This is nice' he thought to himself.  
  
He saw the doors to the Great Hall open, and in came Harry and his friends. The four Gryffindors sat at their table and started a very animated discussion. Remus watched with an amused smile playing on his lips; it was nice to see, that Harry and his friends didn't let the fact that Voldemort was still out there, spoil their Christmas spirit.  
  
The doors suddenly flew open, and in stalked a man Remus hardly recognised. He was tall and thin, with waist-long, silk-soft hair, or so it looked, and slightly wavy hips. His face was thin and pointed, with high cheekbones and lush lips. The eyes gave him away, though. They were black.  
  
The man sat down next to Remus, and.well, he seethed. There simply was no other word for it. He was apparently mad about something.  
  
"Severus?" Remus asked, unsure if it really was the sour potions master he had known for so long. He looked.he looked like he did, when they were still in school, actually. Back in those days he had certainly not been a 'greasy git'. He could have been eighteen, by the looks of it!  
  
"What?" the man barked, shooting an angry glare Remus' way. Oh yeah! It was definitely Severus. "You look a bit different this morning. Done something new to your hair?" he teased.  
  
"Belt up, Lupin." was the retort he received. He was obviously not in the mood for talking.  
  
Dumbledore now came running through the heavy oak doors, his face sat in an apologetic grimace. "Severus, please listen to me. I had to do it. We have to play all of our cards." he didn't get any further.  
  
"Oh, do shut up, Albus! Playing all of our cards! Do you have any idea what's going to happen to me, the next time I show up in front of Voldie and his dear friends? It not going to be pretty, I'll tell you that!" Severus shouted back at him.  
  
"Severus, you know you have to meet with Malfoy, so that he can protect you from any harm, it'll."  
  
"And what exactly do you think he'll want in return?"  
  
"Surely not."  
  
"Yes! That's exactly what he wants! Do you have any idea how many times he tried to make a pass at me, when we were in school? Do you know how disappointed he got, when he saw, that you had put that charm on me? No, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!"  
  
The Great Hall grew uncomfortably silent.  
  
Ron, Harry, Hermione and Neville were staring wide eyed at Snape and Albus, confusion written all over their faces.  
  
"You promised!" was the last thing that Snape shouted at Albus before he left the hall.  
  
"I've really messed this up, haven't I?" Dumbledore asked no one in particular.  
  
"Albus? What was all that about?" Remus asked.  
  
"Oh, Remus. I'm sorry you had to witness that. The thing is, I broke a promise I made to Severus a long time ago. The promise was made to ensure his safety and now I've ruined it all." He said in a defeated voice.  
  
"What promise?" Remus was starting to get curious and it got the better of him.  
  
"That's not my story to tell, Remus. I'm sorry." Dumbledore told him. Why did that irritating old man always have to say that? He knew, that he had just said enough to spike the interest in the other person, and then he went on saying: 'Sorry, I can't tell you anymore, since it is not my story to tell' It was bloody annoying, and Remus was sure he did it just for the fun of it. Sadistic old man!  
  
'Now, isn't that something Severus would say?' a voice in his questioned.  
  
Remus really had no idea where that had come from, and decided not to think about it right now, since Albus had started talking again.  
  
"If you want to know, I suggest you ask Severus. You never know, he might just tell you. But if I were you, I'd wait a while. Just until he's calmed down a little"  
  
"I think you're right, Albus. He needs some time alone."  
  
He had an idea of what it was, that Snape had been talking about. He knew that Voldemort had always loved to .ahem, have 'fun' with anything he thought looked beautiful, just so that he could take the beauty away. If Severus were to show up, looking like a teenage boy that could easily be mistaken for a pretty girl, he'd be in a lot of trouble.  
  
But how was it possible for Snape to look so young? He was almost as old as Remus, and he was 36 years old. That left Snape to be about 33 or 34. No way in Hell, he could still look like a boy!  
  
Remus guessed Albus had put a concealing charm on Snape to keep his beauty from shoving, and thus out of trouble, but the questions as of why, he was so damn youthfully looking was still there.  
  
Well, he could might as well try his luck and go visit Snape the very same evening.  
  
He had been standing outside the Potion Master's private room for ten minutes now, and he still couldn't find the courage to knock on the bloody door!  
  
'Maybe I should just go, before anyone sees me, or before Severus comes out to find me standing here like some lovesick poppy waiting for it's master' he thought. For that was exactly what it looked like to anyone who would pass him in the hallway.  
  
'Or maybe I should.NO! This is bloody stupid!'  
  
Gathering all of his bravery, that the Gryffindors were so famous for, he knocked on the door.  
  
No reply . He knocked again, and still no reply. Maybe he was sleeping? Or, knowing Severus, he just didn't want to answer.  
  
Remus tried to open the door, and was shocked to notice, that it was unlocked.  
  
Severus was usually more careful than that. He always secured his door with all sorts of dark spells that Remus had never even heard of.  
  
Severus simply couldn't have forgot to lock it, could he? He looked inside, at got even more scared, when he didn't see the man in question.  
  
Remus moved to the bedroom door, and pressed his ear against it, to check if he could hear breathing from the inside. Werewolves had a very good hearing and if Snape was on the other side of the door, there was no way that Remus wouldn't know right away.  
  
The scary thing was that he could hear absolutely nothing!  
  
'What should I do?' he thought. 'Maybe he's just gone for a walk, or maybe he's with Albus right now, talking about what happened today?'  
  
Yes! That was it! He was most likely talking to the Headmaster.  
  
But Remus couldn't help but feel that he was mistaking in his assumption. He could smell fear and resignation in the entire room, and it did nothing to calm his nerves, when he remembered something about Lucius Malfoy; that he was going to protect Severus from the Dark Lord for at certain price, that he didn't want to think too closely about.  
  
Hurriedly he ran to Dumbledore, stopping at the gargoyle, trying to remember the password.  
  
"Chocolate Frogs." He said out of breath, but the statue didn't move. Damn!  
  
"Chocolate wands" he tried but to no avail.  
  
"Bloody Hell! Let me in you fucking peace of stone! This is important!" he yelled at the gargoyle. For a moment it looked almost affronted, but then it hesitantly moved aside, letting Remus in.  
  
He ran up the stairs leading to where Dumbledore, hopefully, was. "Come in, Remus." He heard Albus say even before he had a chance to knock.  
  
The door opened very quickly, and in came a very heavy-breathing Remus Lupin.  
  
"Where is he, Albus?" Remus asked.  
  
'Oh, God! Please don't tell me, he's gone to see Voldemort. Please' he thought. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered why he all of a sudden cared so much for Severus safety.  
  
'Could have something to do with that nice arse of his.' the voice in his head snickered.  
  
"He's gone to London, Remus." Dumbledore answered in a tight voice.  
  
Remus let out a sigh of relief. But.wait a minute.  
  
"He's gone to see Malfoy." Dumbledore finished.  
  
'Oh, no.' "Where, Albus? Where are they?"  
  
"In a muggle club. Apparently Malfoy found it saver to talk business there."  
  
"The address, Albus! Give me the bloody address!" he was shouting now, and he didn't want to, but it irritated him that the Headmaster had simply let Snape go. Albus had to know that his Potions Master was walking straight into trouble. Didn't he?  
  
"He told me not to give it to anyone, he."  
  
"Albus! Give it to me!"  
  
Silently Dumbledore reached into his pocket, and took out a small peace of parchment. He handed it over to the werewolf.  
  
"Bring him back save." He told Remus. For the first time since Remus had come back to teach, he noticed that Albus Dumbledore, indeed was a very old man. As he sat there, looking up at Remus with blue eyes filled with worry, he looked very much like his 130 years.  
  
"I'll try." He said, and with that he was off to London.  
  
The place Remus entered was very big. Loud techno music was playing and sweaty bodies were all over the place, grinding into one another.  
  
He tried to see if he could find Snape, but the place was very crowded, so it was down right impossible.  
  
He decided to head towards the bar to ask someone, if they had seen him. After all, everyone who enters the club goes there to fill up.  
  
"Can you help me?" he asked the bartender.  
  
"That depends wha' it is yeh want me to help yeh with, lad" the man answered with a heavy accent, and gave a friendly smile.  
  
"Have you seen an arrogant blonde man, and a tall, pretty boy?" He figured he might as well pretend that Snape was a boy, since no one would ever consider him to be looking like a grown man.  
  
"Yeah, I have. They sit near the stage, o'er there." The man answered, while pointing the table out.  
  
"Thank you." Remus said, and made his way through the thick mass of humans.  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks, when he was close enough at the table to see what was going on.  
  
Snape was wearing nothing but a pair of tight, black latex shorts, and a dog collar around the neck. He looked very small sitting there on the soft- looking couch with his feet on the table, head lulling from side to side.  
  
Malfoy sat beside him, touching his hair and caressing his torso. Remus could see drugs lying on the table, and he knew right away that Malfoy had drugged Snape.  
  
'Fucking bastard had probably had to drug Severus to get him to agree with being 'protected'.  
  
The blonde leaned in and whispered something in Snape's ear. Remus only just caught it.  
  
"What do you say we go and finish this deal in the room in the back, eh Sev? They've got a lovely bed there."  
  
Remus got really angry, and tried to get to them, but people started moving around him, and he couldn't get to the table in time.  
  
He just caught a glimpse of Malfoy's retreating figure, closing a door behind him at the far end of the room.  
  
Damn! He hoped he would get there in time to prevent anything from happening to Severus.  
  
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	2. The Plot is beginning to take form

Forbidden Feelings  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own and I'm not making any money on this. I'm just playing around with the characters for a while. Everything belongs to JK. Rowling except for the plot.I think that one's mine.  
  
I want to thank everybody who's reviewed! It really means a lot to me. And I do mean a LOT! It's the only thing that keeps me going. Okay, on with the story!  
  
Chapter two: The plot is beginning to take form.  
  
Adrenaline surged through his entire being while he struggled to get to the door, Malfoy and Severus had just disappeared behind. He had to get there before anything bad happened. Like Severus getting raped by a blond bastard that had drugged him beyond comprehension.  
  
There were so many people that it felt like he was walking through masses of melted sugar.  
  
Finally, he reached the door.  
  
It was locked! Of course, why hadn't he thought about that? Remus reached inside the jacket he was wearing, grabbed his wand and whispered "Alohomora." and he heard a small 'click'.  
  
Silently he opened the door, afraid of what awaited him on the other side.  
  
Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. Severus was lying naked on the bed, arms tied to the bedpost. He appeared to be unconscious. 'Thank god for that!' Remus thought.  
  
Malfoy was sitting next to Severus on the bed, and was cutting a deep hole in his captives arm.  
  
When Malfoy heard Remus enter, he turned towards him, reaching for his wand at the same time, but Remus was faster and immediately he shouted: "Stupefy!" When Malfoy's body collided hard with the ground, Remus hurried over to the bed to free Severus.  
  
There was blood everywhere from where Malfoy had cut him in the arm. Remus gathered, that if he didn't get the man, who he now had cradled to his own chest, to Hogwarts in a hurry, he would most likely die from severe blood loss.  
  
Yanking the sheet off the bed, he pulled it tight around the damaged arm, and ran as fast as he could towards the nearest exit with a load of beautiful, but hurt wizard in his arms.  
  
:::::::back at Hogwarts::::::::::  
  
Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards of his time, was sitting in his office, gazing silently into the roaring fire. He had a far-away look in his eyes as tears slowly trailed down his cheeks.  
  
'How could I have been so stupid?' he thought to himself. 'How could I have let my precious child walk straight into danger?'  
  
There was a loud knocking on his door, but before he had a chance to respond, Minerva McGonagall stormed into the office, eyes wild and hair pointing in every possible direction.  
  
"Minerva, dear. Is everything alright?" Albus asked. He looked concerned at the woman in front of him who was panting heavily, trying to regain her composure.  
  
"He's back, Albus. Remus has carried him to the Hospital Wing, and Poppy is taking care of him. Albus.he's hurt pretty badly; apparently Malfoy cut him in the arm." She looked at him with a meaning look.  
  
Albus took a deep breath, thinking 'Oh, no' before calmly rising to his feet.  
  
"Lead the way, dear." He said and followed McGonagall to the Wing.  
  
::::::::::::::::Hospital Wing::::::::::  
  
"How is he, Remus?"  
  
The werewolf turned his head towards the voice. Albus and Minerva were standing right behind him. 'How come I didn't hear them approach?' he thought to himself.  
  
"I think he's going to be alright. But he did loose a lot of blood. It was so terrible, Albus. I seriously thought he was going to die in my arms!"  
  
Remus thought back to when he had desperately run towards the Leaking Cauldron in Diagon Ally.  
  
He was holding Severus tight into him, afraid he would accidentally drop him. The blood had begun to seep through the sheets and it was painting the road that now lay behind them as he ran faster.  
  
He remembered that he had kept repeating 'He's not going to die, he's not going to die, he's not going to die' in his head like a mantra. Only the mantra didn't appear to be working very well; he could 'feel' the life drain away from the man in his arms, and it frightened him. Never had he thought, that another man was going to die in his arms.  
  
If Severus didn't make it, he knew he wouldn't be able to stand it; he'd blame himself for the mans death until he, himself, died. He simply knew he couldn't live knowing that had he only gotten there faster, he could have saved someone's life.  
  
When he finally reached the Leaking Cauldron, he ran straight to the fireplace, not bothering to ask for help; there wasn't enough time for that. Flooing back to Hogsmeade he picked up where he'd left and kept running until he got to Hogwarts and finally the Hospital Wing.  
  
Pomfrey had been there immediately to take over. When Remus had shown no intention of leaving, but kept standing behind the mediwitch, trying to look over her shoulder with a pained expression on his face, she had given him a stern glare and asked him to sit down and be still.  
  
That was how Dumbledore and McGonagall found him.  
  
Poppy know walked over to them looking very grave.  
  
"Is he going to live, Poppy?" the Headmaster asked.  
  
"Yes, Albus he is, but he won't be able to leave the Wing for another couple of days at least. He's lost a lot of blood and is very week."  
  
"But he is going to okay, right?" Remus asked looking expectantly at her. He couldn't believe what he had only just heard, and simply had to ask again, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. 'Severus is not going to die!' his mind screamed out, extremely happy over the news.  
  
"He is going to be fine as long as he gets some rest. Now, that we are on the subject can I talk to you, Albus? Privately?" she asked and gave Remus a looked that clearly indicated that he was to leave.  
  
"Yes, of course. Minerva would you be as kind as to take Remus to his quarters? Just to make sure he gets back there safely. It's been quite a night for him, I should think."  
  
"Certainly, Headmaster. Come along, Remus." she said and started walking towards the door.  
  
Remus gave Albus a suspicious look, but followed after his old teacher. What was it that Poppy wanted to talk to Dumbledore about regarding Severus?  
  
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	3. Secrets Revealed

Forbidden Feelings Chapter 3 Secrets Revealed  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Severus Snape, Remus Lupin or any other Harry Potter character. Wish I did, though...  
  
A/N: I'm very sorry for the delay, but I've started writing a new story called Murmurous Summer Symphony, and it's taken a lot of my spare time. Also, I've begun a whole new story called The Black Rose of Despair, so that has also stolen a lot of my time. Okay, enough with the excuses;)  
  
I want to thank everyone who has reviewed. It really means a lot to me:-) Ahem, this chapter is written while listening to "I don't like the drugs (but the drugs like me)" by Marilyn Manson, so it's bound to be a bit weird. Consider yourselves warned! And no, no drugs will appear in this chapter. Just thought I'd let you know. May come up in another chapter, though! You never know;)  
  
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"Okay, Albus. You'd better tell me what's going on now, or else I'll have a pray to hunt down when the full moon rises." Remus said as he walked through the door to the Headmasters office the day after he brought Severus back to Hogwarts.  
  
"I'm sorry, Remus. But ..." Dumbledore began, but Remus interrupted.  
  
"No, Albus. I don't want to hear any excuses. I want the truth, and I want it now!" He hadn't been able to sleep all night, thinking about what had happened, and he'd bee damned if he was going to let the Headmaster get away with it easily.  
  
"I wish I could tell you, but fact remains that...."  
  
"Albus, I'm warning you! Now talk."  
  
Dumbledore sighed, and then nodded his head. "Alright, Remus, I'll tell you. But could you at least sit down?" He indicated towards the chair in front of his desk.  
  
The werewolf sat down, folded his hands in his lap, and leaned back in the chair. Silently he waited for the Headmaster to begin.  
  
"Well, it's all very simple, really. I put Severus under a concealing charm so that his looks wouldn't get him into trouble." Albus said.  
  
'Oh no, Headmaster. You're not getting away with just that' Remus thought to himself. "Yes, I had already gathered as much, thank you. What I want to know is, why you had to put him under a charm in the first place"  
  
"I already told you. So that he could keep out of trouble. Not that it has helped any." Albus smiled at his own joke.  
  
"No, Albus! Bloody Hell! Why is Severus looking the way he does?" Lupin could feel himself getting angry, and Dumbledore apparently refused to give up without a fight.  
  
"Oh! Why didn't you say so right away?" the old mans eyes twinkled, and Remus was trying to sit still in the chair while he seethed.  
  
"Albus! I'm in no mood for games. Just bloody well tell me the story!" he shouted. If Albus didn't started talking right away then Remus just couldn't be held responsible for his actions.  
  
"Okay, Remus. I'm sorry. I simply couldn't help it." 'He's mocking you, Remus.' The inner voice told him. As if he didn't already know that!  
  
"I know you always thought that Severus comes from a pure-blooded family, but that's not true. His father is a very powerful wizard by the name Behan Snape, but his mother is an elf. I don't know her name. Severus refuses to tell me."  
  
"He's part elf? Wow, I'd never imagined! But why do I get the feeling that there's more to this, than the fact that Snape is a half-elf? What are you not telling me, Albus?"  
  
"I'm not going to tell you anymore. I've already broken the trust Severus has put in me. I'm certain that, in time, he'll tell you all about it." Albus said. He looked a bit guilty, and Remus almost felt sorry for him. Almost.  
  
Hmm.I know it's short and that it's been a VERY long time since my last update. I'll make a new update soon on this story, though. Promise!! Please review and tell me if you like it! :) 


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